For those of you who don't watch Letterman he does a bit about fun facts. He usually starts with a couple that are true and then they go into the absurd.

These are the winners of an online contest he had going. No, none are mine.


Fun Facts Contest Winners!
Week Three

"Abracadabra" is Latin for "I hope to hell this works"
- Jeff T., Peterborough, NH

It takes a giraffe a half an hour to clear its throat
- Randy J., King, NC

It has been scientifically proven that the most effort
any human can give is 107%
- Jesse B., Souderton, PA

The first batch of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup
was just "Mm Mm Okay"
- Amanda K., Middleburg Heights, OH

Before taking over "The Price Is Right,"
Drew Carey was neutered
- Ian W., Richmond, BC

Ben Franklin's first bifocals had eyes painted on the outside of the lenses to improve his poker game
- George M., Valley Stream, NY

If Sharon Stone married Oliver Stone, she'd be known as Sharon Stone
- David T., Salem, NH

When JC Penney died, he left his wife penniless
- Martin K., Chicopee, MA

Despite countless renditions of the song, Dionne Warwick still does not know the way to San Jose
- Patrick A., Sunnyvale, CA

That's not dancing. Those aren't stars.
- John K., Dallas, TX




Feel free to add your own.

Nobody starts more pointless threads than Steeley Dan.
-K D., CT

oh come on now....just having a litle fun with you.

Some of them were pretty funny, others not so much.

Sorry, deleted the post. It just seems to be seriously, not in a funny way, bust on Steely this week.

That's because you cheered for the Cardinals. Other than that you're ok. You are definitely the king of OTW. (in a good way)

Geez...you're sensitive this week. bbinATL is correct, this was a make up for not busting on you for rooting for the Cardinal(s) since 1) Stanford is a bunch of douchebags, 2) you bashed ND and 3) ND won anyway.


Keep up the good OTW work...

i apologize for calling you a bastard, dint realize you were having such a gawdawful rotten stinky piss poor chitty yucky dark disgusting revolting sad in a sad way day.

and thanks.




And that is a bad thing, why?




That's not a problem I am a bastard it's just the stuff I'm not that bothers me.

If Roy Williams married Roy Williams, he'd be known as Roy Williams.

Ok--for those over 45....Kay Ballard married astronaut Wally Schirra...then divorced him and married her brother.
Kay Schirra Schirra

Sorry, that would make her Kay Schirra Ballard (and a West Virginian).

Well, whatever will be, will be.



If my grandmother had wheels she'd be a wagon.

In a The Far Side comic. Two women are carried up a volcano by tribesmen and one says to the other "Ha! And you were worried they wouldn't like Americans. Why, these people just lit up when I explained we were Virginians!"

I got one!

If Indiana University and GoDaddy.com merged, the sports teams would be called the Indiana Hoosier Daddys.

Foo!

If Jerry Lewis married Jeff Garcia, they'd be Jerry Garcia.

And would have really ugly kids

If Tom Brady married Gisele he would still be gay

How do you know which one would be dominant? It could be Jeff Lewis.



That's a mmmpppphhh, horrible thing, mmmmmmppphhh, to say.

Their kids would still be ugly

'Nuff said.

Ok, I think I got another...

When Dick Jauron dies, his wife will be left dickless.

If June Cleaver divorced Ward, then married Detective Munch, her youngest son would be Beaver Munch

/dev that's the kind of trivia that really turns the ladies on

If she bought the family Brady tweed jackets They could be the Brady Munch.

I know it sucks. Oh, well.

Or if she remarried the current President of the US he'd be Beaver Bush.

He could get a job as a gardener.

If Darth Vader married Ella Fitzgerald, she'd be Ella Vader.


If Swoozy Kurtz (?) married Patrick Swazey, she'd be Swoozy Swazey

If Dick Jauron married William Hurt he'd be Dick Hurt

If Dick Jauron married Bishop Edward Head he'd be Dick Head.

This is fun!!!

If Dick Jauron married Dick Butkus he'd be Dick Butkus!

If Dick Jauron married Davis Love III he'd be Dick Love.

If Dick Jauron married Andy Dick he'd be Dick Dick

If Dick Jauron married Martin Short he'd be Dick Short

If Dick Jauron married Howey Long he'd be Dick Long

that one got a lol out of me

How will anyone know?