1ST TBD SIMULATION LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME

TEXAS STEERS vs. ERIE ASSASSINS
LOS ANGELES COLISEUM
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA

CBS (‘cause ESPN sucks!) / CBS HD:
Play-By-Play: Some Dork
Color ANALyst: Some Know-it-all Blowhard


DirecTV TBDSL Da Ticket: Channel 557

Radio: Texas Steers Network
Play-By-Play: Some Redneck
Color ANALyst: Some Hillbilly
Sideline Reporter: Some Trailer Park Skank

Erie Assassins Network
Play-By-Play: Some Drunken Idiot
Color ANALyst: Some Message Board Wannabe Geek
Sideline Reporter: Some Cold Weather Loving Loser

Sirius Snoozefest Saturday: Channel 129 (Texas feed) / Channel 187 (Erie feed)

Regular-Season Series Record: This is the first meeting ever between these teams.

Playoff Record: Are you illiterate? We said this is the first meeting. Dumba**.

Last Meeting: Man, you’re really stupid.

Latest word from the Left Coast has the grounds crew at the venerable Coliseum working overtime to upgrade the wiring in the scoreboard... because with the top two point-producers in the league preparing to square off in the inaugural TBD title game, the resulting power drain could black out all of Los Angeles County.

After raising the Steve Tasker Trophy in snowy Rich Stadium, the undefeated Assassins have to be looking forward to the SoCal heat. But while their management has assembled a prototypical run-and-stop-the-run roster, the presence of league MVP Ladainian Tomlinson ensures they won't run out of ammunition in a shootout with the top-ranked Steers offense, led by second-team All-TBD quarterback Marc Bulger.

GILCHRIST CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
November 16, 2007 - San Antonio, Texas
Texas Steers 40, New Orleans Hand Grenades 17

Leading by just six points at halftime, the Steers trampled New Orleans after the break to send the Alamodome crowd back down to the Riverwalk in a festive mood.

The first half looked more like a Spurs game than a football playoff tilt, with neither punter seeing the field for the first 28 minutes of play. Marc Bulger and Peyton Manning each threw a touchdown pass and led a field goal drive to knot the score at 10 at the end of the first quarter. The Steers added another Josh Scobee three-pointer as the second stanza opened, but Manning found All-Pro receiver Mike Furrey open in the end zone to take a 17-13 lead. The Texas defense stiffened after that, though, forcing two fumbles and a three-and-out; meanwhile, another field goal and Bulger's second scoring toss of the day to Reggie Wayne gave the home team a 23-17 edge heading into the locker room.

A heavy dose of Leon Washington moved Texas into position for Scobee's fourth field goal of the afternoon, this one from 45 yards, giving the Steers a 26-17 lead. On their next possession, the Hand Grenades turned the ball over after Manning completed a pass to Ben Watson to pick up the first down. Manning also was sacked by All Pro end Trent Cole and by Fred Robbins . While Manning struggled, taking three second-half sacks and throwing an interception, Bulger's third touchdown to Wayne and Washington's 1-yard dive completed the scoring.

NOTES: Bulger completed 24 of 41 passes for 304 yards, most of it to Wayne (8 catches - 81 yards) and Javon Walker (5-87)... Washington (15 carries - 80 yards) and Frank Gore (22-99) provided the bulk of the ground attack... Defensive tackle Fred Robbins spurred the defensive charge with two sacks and a fumble recovery.

KELLY CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
November 16, 2007 - Orchard Park, New York
Erie Assassins 38, Springfield Isotopes 23

Two long Carson Palmer touchdown passes kept the Isotopes in the game for a while, but in the end, they had no answer for Ladainian Tomlinson.

Despite heavy snow and 10-20mph wind at Rich Stadium, the Assassins came out throwing; Steve McNair completed five of eight passes on a drive leading to Josh Brown's 31-yard field goal. Springfield couldn't get any traction in the sloppy conditions, but they didn't seem to bother the Assassins offense; Brown missed his next FG attempt, but McNair hooked up with Larry Fitzgerald on a five-yard touchdown to extend the lead to 10.

Palmer finally got back the visitors back in the game early in the second quarter, hitting Terrell Owens in stride on a crossing route for a 50-yard score. Erie responded quickly, though; Justin Miller returned the ensuing kickoff past midfield, and Tomlinson plowed through the Isotopes defense for a 42-yard touchdown two plays later. He came close to repeating the feat on his next play from scrimmage, taking a pitch 69 yards down the right sideline before the defense finally caught him at the one. That tackle merely delayed the inevitable; Tomlinson scored on the next play, and the Assassins regained their 17-point lead. Palmer responded with a couple of scoring drives to finish the half: one capped off by a 90 yard bomb to Anquan Boldin to cut the lead to 24-14 and the other, set up by a Steve McNair fumble at the Erie 26 yard line, ended with a Matt Stover 25 yard field goal to make it a one touchdown difference at the half.

The second half was all about survival for the Assassins, who got an early interception from safety Donte Whitner to thrwart Springfield’s first possession of the half, then held the Isotopes to a field goal after Michael Turner’s electrifying 83 yard run had Springfield knocking on the Assassins’ door at the 9 yard line. From there, Isotopes back Willis McGahee was stuffed for a 4 yard loss and All Pro linebacker Kamerion Wimbley got a sack, followed by an incomplete pass from Palmer. With the help of a 71 yard pass to Marques Colston, the Assassins scored again on their next drive when McNair hit Kevin Curtis on a 9 yard out route to put some distance between themselves and Springfield once again. Springfield would be in a position to tie the game at 31, but Palmer was picked off by Andre Dyson and it led to a Reuben Droughns 4 yard touchdown to seal the deal. Palmer, who had 4 turnovers in the game, was replaced on the Isotopes’ last drive by Rex Grossman, who was 3 for 10 for 30 yards but was 0-2 on third downs and just 1-2 on fourth downs on the drive as the Assassins defense preserved the victory.

NOTES: McNair was 21 of 40 for 335 yards… Colston (4 catches, 120 yards), Tony Gonzalez (4 catches, 64 yards), and Fitzgerald (5 catches, 61 yards, TD) also led the way… Tomlinson ran for 172 yards and 2TDs on 17 carries… Wimbley (4 tackles, 2 sacks, 1 fumble forced), Whitner (4 tackles, INT), and Bobby McCray (2 tackles, 3 pressures) led the way for the Assassins defense