Two Bills Drive Forums > The way things don't work.

Mickey

Jan 22 2006, 09:40 AM

Republican Win-win formula:

1. Oppose creation of agency to regulate an industry.

2. Appoint executives of industry agency is supposed to regulate to top agency posts.

3. Cut budget of said agency.

4. Watch regulations go unenforced by said agency.

5. Wait for the lack of regulation to result in a highly publicized disaster.

6. Point out that regulations and the agency itself are clearly a waste of time since they failed to prevent the disaster.

7. Run for election on a platform claiming that government can't do anything right and cite the agency, its regulations and the disaster as an example.

8. Reinforce as much as possible the notion that if there is an agency and there are regluations and problems occur, the agency and the regulations must have caused the problems.

9. Repeat steps 2-8.

Democratic win-win formula:

1. Identify a problem.

2. Create an agency to fix said problem.

3. Take credit for fixing the problem.

4. Claim that problem is never quite fixed so agency must continue.

5. Claim that the reason problem is never quite fixed is due to a shortage of cash and/or regulations.

6. Increase budget and enact additional regulations.

7. Repeat steps 3-6.

KRC

Jan 22 2006, 09:44 AM

QUOTE(Mickey @ Jan 22 2006, 09:40 AM)

Republican Win-win formula:

1. Oppose creation of agency to regulate an industry.

2. Appoint executives of industry agency is supposed to regulate to top agency posts.

3. Cut budget of said agency.

4. Watch regulations go unenforced by said agency.

5. Wait for the lack of regulation to result in a highly publicized disaster.

6. Point out that regulations and the agency itself are clearly a waste of time since they failed to prevent the disaster.

7. Run for election on a platform claiming that government can't do anything right and cite the agency, its regulations and the disaster as an example.

8. Reinforce as much as possible the notion that if there is an agency and there are regluations and problems occur, the agency and the regulations must have caused the problems.

9. Repeat steps 2-8.
Democratic win-win formula:

1. Identify a problem.

2. Create an agency to fix said problem.

3. Take credit for fixing the problem.

4. Claim that problem is never quite fixed so agency must continue.

5. Claim that the reason problem is never quite fixed is due to a shortage of cash and/or regulations.

6. Increase budget and enact additional regulations.

7. Repeat steps 3-6.

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Voters win-win formula:

1. Vote for neither the Republicans nor Democrats.

2. Repeat step 1.

Joe In Macungie

Jan 23 2006, 08:36 AM

QUOTE(KRC @ Jan 22 2006, 09:44 AM)

Voters win-win formula:

1. Vote for neither the Republicans nor Democrats.

2. Repeat step 1.
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Where's that damned applause smilie?

TheMadCap

Jan 23 2006, 12:17 PM

Nice Ken! I fully agree...

ExiledInIllinois

Jan 23 2006, 01:26 PM

QUOTE(KRC @ Jan 22 2006, 09:44 AM)

Voters win-win formula:

1. Vote for neither the Republicans nor Democrats.

2. Repeat step 1.
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Step 2 correction:

2. Repeat Step 1 60 million times.

Terry Tate

Jan 23 2006, 09:15 PM

Well done. It's a nice change of pace to be able to agree with Mickey/KRC in one thread in back-to-back posts. I wish I could say that more often.

Adam

Jan 23 2006, 09:20 PM

QUOTE(KRC @ Jan 22 2006, 09:44 AM)

Voters win-win formula:

1. Vote for neither the Republicans nor Democrats.

2. Repeat step 1.
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If the election is Rice/Clinton, that is a GREAT idea- I'd vote Palpatine!

Mickey

Jan 24 2006, 01:57 AM

QUOTE(Adam @ Jan 23 2006, 09:20 PM)

If the election is Rice/Clinton, that is a GREAT idea- I'd vote Palpatine!
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If that happens, I am getting some sidewalk chalk from the kids to draw a circle around my house and then declaring the formation of the independent state of Mickeyania.

Joe In Macungie

Jan 24 2006, 08:22 AM

QUOTE(Mickey @ Jan 24 2006, 01:57 AM)

the independent state of Mickeyania.
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I'd love to see the legal code of such a principality.

Mickey

Jan 24 2006, 10:19 AM

QUOTE(JoeSixPack @ Jan 24 2006, 08:22 AM)

I'd love to see the legal code of such a principality.
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Our first order of business would be to establish a non-aggression pact with JoeSixPackylvania. The second order of business would be to declare tax free status for lingerie models residing within Mickeyania.

Oh, and Presidential BJ's would be required rather than grounds for impeachment.

Crap Throwing Monkey

Jan 24 2006, 10:23 AM

QUOTE(Mickey @ Jan 24 2006, 10:19 AM)

Our first order of business would be to establish a non-aggression pact with JoeSixPackylvania. The second order of business would be to declare tax free status for lingerie models residing within Mickeyania.

Oh, and Presidential BJ's would be required rather than grounds for impeachment.

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I can live with those.

ASCI

Jan 24 2006, 10:32 AM

QUOTE(Mickey @ Jan 22 2006, 09:40 AM)

Republican Win-win formula:

1. Oppose creation of agency to regulate an industry.

2. Appoint executives of industry agency is supposed to regulate to top agency posts.

3. Cut budget of said agency.

4. Watch regulations go unenforced by said agency.

5. Wait for the lack of regulation to result in a highly publicized disaster.

6. Point out that regulations and the agency itself are clearly a waste of time since they failed to prevent the disaster.

7. Run for election on a platform claiming that government can't do anything right and cite the agency, its regulations and the disaster as an example.

8. Reinforce as much as possible the notion that if there is an agency and there are regluations and problems occur, the agency and the regulations must have caused the problems.

9. Repeat steps 2-8.
Democratic win-win formula:

1. Identify a problem.

2. Create an agency to fix said problem.

3. Take credit for fixing the problem.

4. Claim that problem is never quite fixed so agency must continue.

5. Claim that the reason problem is never quite fixed is due to a shortage of cash and/or regulations.

6. Increase budget and enact additional regulations.

7. Repeat steps 3-6.

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Ironically, the Republican Party of today has more in common with Jimmy Carter and Walter Mondale than it does with Ronald Reagan. Whereas Ronald Reagan was a conservative of conscience, most Republicans today are mere conservatives of convenience. And when in power, it never seems to be convenient for Republicans to be conservative."

Joe In Macungie

Jan 24 2006, 10:34 AM

QUOTE(Mickey @ Jan 24 2006, 10:19 AM)

Our first order of business would be to establish a non-aggression pact with JoeSixPackylvania. The second order of business would be to declare tax free status for lingerie models residing within Mickeyania.

Oh, and Presidential BJ's would be required rather than grounds for impeachment.

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SixPackia, of course, would have a "free Beer Friday" law in which every citizen and tourist would have access to all the beer they might be able to consume, gratis, of course.

Hey, I could live with that. The permanent majority party? The KEG Party of course!

OGTEleven

Jan 24 2006, 11:02 AM

QUOTE(Mickey @ Jan 24 2006, 10:19 AM)

Our first order of business would be to establish a non-aggression pact with JoeSixPackylvania. The second order of business would be to declare tax free status for lingerie models residing within Mickeyania.

Oh, and Presidential BJ's would be required rather than grounds for impeachment.

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If your wife is named Lorena, you may want to re-think parading lingerie models through Mickeyania.

OGTEleven

Jan 24 2006, 11:04 AM

QUOTE(Mickey @ Jan 24 2006, 01:57 AM)

If that happens, I am getting some sidewalk chalk from the kids to draw a circle around my house and then declaring the formation of the independent state of Mickeyania.
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Sidewalk chalk washes off in the rain.

You must have some extra duct tape lying around.

Mickey

Jan 24 2006, 11:32 AM

QUOTE(OGTEleven @ Jan 24 2006, 11:02 AM)

If your wife is named Lorena, you may want to re-think parading lingerie models through Mickeyania.
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You don't understand, my wife is a lingerie model. That is the genius of the tax free rule. My wife can't object because it benefits her as well as her colleagues, her increased income helps me to live large and Mickeyania becomes the beneficiary of an unprecedented wave of lingerie model immigration.

You see, contrary to popular belief, I didn't sleep my way through all of law school.
I stayed awake for the good parts. "How to rig the game so that every possible result benefits you 101." My favorite class.

KRC

Jan 24 2006, 11:35 AM

QUOTE(JoeSixPack @ Jan 24 2006, 10:34 AM)

SixPackia, of course, would have a "free Beer Friday" law in which every citizen and tourist would have access to all the beer they might be able to consume, gratis, of course.

Hey, I could live with that. The permanent majority party? The KEG Party of course!

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You guys are amateurs. First, let's address Mickeyania:

1) As OGTEleven stated, chalk washes off in the rain. You will be re-drawing your borders too often.

2) I see no stipulation that the lingerie models need to be HOT lingerie models in order to receive tax-free status. The last thing you need is to attract Rosanne Barr-type "models" to Mickeyania.

3) Nice job with the non-agression pact with JoeSixPackylvania. He is a loose cannon and needs to be contained.

On to JoeSixPackylvania:

Free beer on Fridays? What kind of taxes are you going to need to impliment that? No thanks. I will take the lower taxes and brew it myself. We can work out a deal, however. I would be more than willing to enter into a contract to be the exclusive supplier of beer to JoeSixPackylvania in exchange for tax-free status, no goverment intervention into my business and unlimited "interns" to help with my brewery. Of course, I have complete control over the interview process for said "interns" and retain all rights to hire/fire the "interns."

Joe In Macungie

Jan 24 2006, 12:37 PM

QUOTE

Free beer on Fridays? What kind of taxes are you going to need to impliment that? No thanks. I will take the lower taxes and brew it myself. We can work out a deal, however. I would be more than willing to enter into a contract to be the exclusive supplier of beer to JoeSixPackylvania in exchange for tax-free status, no goverment intervention into my business and unlimited "interns" to help with my brewery. Of course, I have complete control over the interview process for said "interns" and retain all rights to hire/fire the "interns."
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So long as you agree to supply the citizens with unlimited low-cost beer, we have a deal.

Mickey

Jan 25 2006, 09:57 AM

QUOTE(JoeSixPack @ Jan 24 2006, 12:37 PM)

QUOTE

Free beer on Fridays? What kind of taxes are you going to need to impliment that? No thanks. I will take the lower taxes and brew it myself. We can work out a deal, however. I would be more than willing to enter into a contract to be the exclusive supplier of beer to JoeSixPackylvania in exchange for tax-free status, no goverment intervention into my business and unlimited "interns" to help with my brewery. Of course, I have complete control over the interview process for said "interns" and retain all rights to hire/fire the "interns."
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So long as you agree to supply the citizens with unlimited low-cost beer, we have a deal.
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Dibs on the liver transplant concession.

Crap Throwing Monkey

Jan 25 2006, 11:20 AM

[quote=Mickey,Jan 25 2006, 09:57 AM]
So long as you agree to supply the citizens with unlimited low-cost beer, we have a deal.
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[/quote]
Dibs on the liver transplant concession.
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[/quote]

What, you expect to just get exclusive rights "just because"? Who the !@#$ are you, Halliburton?

Mickey

Jan 25 2006, 04:30 PM

QUOTE(Crap Throwing Monkey @ Jan 25 2006, 11:20 AM)

What, you expect to just get exclusive rights "just because"? Who the !@#$ are you, Halliburton?

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You are just jealous that I nabbed it first. Tell you what, you can have the penile implant extension booth. JSPylvania will be attracting lots of conservatives so the penile implant biz will be just as good as the traffic in liver transplants.

UConn James

Jan 25 2006, 05:04 PM

QUOTE(KRC @ Jan 24 2006, 11:35 AM)

... and unlimited "interns" to help with my brewery. Of course, I have complete control over the interview process for said "interns" and retain all rights to hire/fire the "interns."
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A restaurater down this way in the '60s used to have a hiring policy as follows for his waitresses:

1. Fold your hands together (as in playing Church-and-Steeple).
2. Place hands behind head, and have elbows jut straight forward.
3. Walk toward the wall.

If her elbows touched first, she didn't get hired.

Crap Throwing Monkey

Jan 25 2006, 05:23 PM

QUOTE(Mickey @ Jan 25 2006, 04:30 PM)

You are just jealous that I nabbed it first. Tell you what, you can have the penile implant extension booth. JSPylvania will be attracting lots of conservatives so the penile implant biz will be just as good as the traffic in liver transplants.

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I'm just upset that you feel entitled to it without any sort of competitive process, even though you're not the least bit qualified to do it, either. Typical friggin' Democrat...